Below, The Hollywood Gossip staff breaks down the events on last night's episode of The Hills spinoff, awarding and deducting points as we deem appropriate ...
Roxy Olin imparts sage advice: Never leave food on the counter. Plus 1.
Whitney Port is going on a "full-on blind date." How can it truly be a blind date if he has to sign a waiver beforehand? She knows exactly who it is. Minus 2.
Blind date Patrick on his job description: "Basically I convince people to buy expensive clothes." Plus 4 for honesty, but Minus 2 for lame fashion acronyms.
Roxy and Zac seem like they could be a cute couple. For now. Plus 3.
Patrick encourages Whitney to "join forces" on the bill. We were getting a douche vibe, and this confirmed it. Why not just ask MTV to cover it, Pat? Minus 6.
Roxy to Whitney: "You have to come. I need you as my wing man." Poor Whitney. Always a wing man, never the It Girl. Not even on her own show. Minus 3.
Erin goes off on Olivia to Joe Zee about Olivia "expecting her hand to be held." It's almost as if she's calling out the network for giving Olivia the job. Plus 5.
Zac, despite being billed as "Roxy's date," rolls up in the club with a pack of hot girls. Kind of a d!ck move, but Minus 2 for Roxy unjustly berating him for it.
Plus 1 for the blatant Cobra Starship plug. 21st Century payola? Plus 2 more for the guy defending Olivia as "a babe" when Erin complains about her.
Roxy and Whitney annoyingly go on and on and on about their boring boy problems, but like last week, Kelly Cutrone berates their "quilting circle," so Even.
Man, Erin is gonna straight up murder Olivia soon. You can practically see the steam spilling out of her ears. Plus 2, because at least it'll be televised.
TOTAL: +8. SEASON TOTAL: +7. Annoying at times, but at least Kelly calls out Roxy and Whitney, and we can't wait to watch Erin absolutely snap.